The Situation

Building strong relationships with our colleagues and our networks is crucial for cultivating good cultures, sourcing opportunities and advice, and getting the help we need to solve problems, achieve stability, or scale at velocity. We’ve all heard that most people want to be helpful – but how do you find the people who want to help, ask them for the right thing, and continue strengthening your relationship through reciprocity?

The Plays

Use a proactive approach: Reach out to people you admire, approach meetings with an objective, search out people with complementary skills and interests, and be willing and prepared to nurture relationships for the long term.

Make asks thoughtfully: Before you make an ask of someone in your network, clearly articulate what you’re asking for, who you’re asking, and why you’re asking this person for this specific thing. 

Show meaningful appreciation: Say thank you (and be specific about the action, the impact, and the implication).

Pay it back and pay it forward: You will make asks from members of your network – for advice, for resources, for connections – but building long-term, compounding relationships in the workplace and in your broader circles also means bringing energy, honesty, intentional listening, and a willingness to help to the table, too.

Run the Plays

Post: How to Use Your Network

“Most people want to be helpful. So help them be helpful. Figure out whether you need to zoom in (clarity) or out (creativity). Source and phrase your requests accordingly. Then keep refocusing until you have what you need to keep going.”

Post: How to Say Thank You

“We’re actually terrible at showing appreciation at work. It’s called the gratitude gap. We assume people know that we’re thankful for their efforts. We forget to tell the people we spend our days with that we’re grateful for them – their contributions and their presence.”

Essay: Getting in the Room

“As you build relationships with others, both in investing and outside of it, treat connections as budding long-term relationships rather than one-off conversations. Building stronger bonds may mean fewer absolute outreaches, but a deeper understanding of individual perspectives and the ability to learn over time from a range of experiences. Also, a well-earned and dependable network has never hurt someone’s career.”

Post: Look for the Builders with Anu Hariharan

“It's important to know how to manage and lead teams and put systems and processes in place so you're not always in the weeds. But companies always go through tough times, and if you have a builder on your team as a leader, they will not be afraid to go into the weeds. That usually raises the bar of the entire team…”

Permanent Podcast

Companies don’t stay small on purpose. So how can you scale faster? Anu Hariharan of Y Combinator discusses the growing pains of going from start-up to success, how to grow as a builder and a manager, the importance of ruthless prioritization, and shares new technologies to help SMBs unlock their operations, and customer support.

(Be sure to subscribe to get the latest episodes in your feed!)

Throwback

The Greatest Competitive Advantage

“It’s our experience and our belief that there’s one competitive advantage that outshines the rest. It’s not a secret. It doesn’t require specific expertise or analyzing complicated metrics for incremental, interdependent gains. It’s one ‘do’ and one ‘don’t’: Do what you say you’re going to do when you say you’re going to do it. And don’t be an asshole along the way.”

Go Deep

Curiosity sparked? We've put together a list of resources on cultivating relationships based in trust.

Don't Just Network — Build Your 'Meaningful Network' to Maximize Your Impact (First Round)

+ Bringing relationships from the unfamiliar to the meaningful: “The way many people do it is gross. They get in touch out of nowhere in order to work an angle or ask for something under the guise of friendship…If you want to build an effective network, you must focus on what you can do for other people, not what they can offer you.”

Unselfing Social (The Marginalian)

+ A call to use our networks in service of one another: "There must be another way — a way to unself just enough to remember each other, to grow a little more awake to this world that shimmers with wonder, of which any one self is only a fleck.”

We’re Losing Touch with Our Networks (HBR)

+ The long-lasting effects of the pandemic on our networks – and what it means for job searches, career progression, creativity, belonging, and turnover: “Our professional and personal networks have shrunk by close to 16% — or by more than 200 people — during the pandemic.”

“You’ve Got to Figure Out What Motivates Them” (The Daily Coach)

+ Legendary University of North Carolina Soccer Coach Anson Dorrance on how to cultivate trust in a team (and how to tweak your strategy to reach who you’re talking to): “How do you treat them? What do you do for them? Do you have their back? Can they trust you with things they tell you? They have to know you have a respect and admiration for them that’s different than the person playing on their left or right. They have to know you see them, and you’ve got to figure out what motivates them.”

Theories on Trust Capital (Mark Brooks’ Thread)

+ Make sure you’re replenishing trust with your team. “Deposits of trust capital are made during positive interactions with others. Withdrawals, however, happen constantly. Trust capital outflows are the natural state. Trust entropy, if you will.”